Sometimes it's not.
Here are some unique, NON-VIOLENT options for getting out of sticky situations QUICKLY. People shouldn't be controlled by fear. Hopefully this information with entertain, educate, and empower you. (You might even enjoy a few laughs along the way.)
Before we start, I'd like to make an important side note: Do NOT try ANY variation of these ideas if someone is clearly pointing a gun at you. They will, more than likely, shoot you immediately. (These methods can still work on an attacker with small, handheld weapons.)
Crazy "methods" aren't as well known as standard self defense, but they can be just as powerful in certain situations.
Many people are completely unaware acting legitimately crazy is a viable, self- defense option. Acting acutely ill, or in need of emergency medical attention can also be effective. If you already happen to know some self defense methods, prepare to add to your personal arsenal of knowledge.
Crazy doesn't want to mess with crazy." In essence, you're fighting fire with fire. (A technique used by professional firefighters to control wildfires.)
Think about it... How do YOU feel when you see a legitimately crazy person walking around on their own? You've probably experienced a moment where you thought something like: "Who is he/she talking to? OMG, NO BLUETOOTH!?! That guy/gal is totally talking to himself! Be cool, don't stare..." You were probably a bit uneasy, at the very least. More than likely your instincts were telling you to get farther away from the individual. That feeling is a natural "fight or flight" response. When you realize YOU can have the same effect on someone ELSE, it becomes a tool. Here's how...Not everyone is physically able to defend themselves. (Everyone should AT LEAST carry Mace, but that's another conversation for another day...) Not everyone owns a gun, which is fine. Not everyone carries a weapon, which is fine. If you love your gun, that's fine too. (This isn't a 2nd amendment debate either. I'm here to empower and educate people about peaceful alternatives to violence.)
Police can't be everywhere all the time. What happens if you're alone, and someone is clearly following you? Is there anything you can do to deter the situation from escalating and possibly turning violent? Is it still possible to feel safe? The answer is yes...
Instead of confronting the situation, take a moment to calm yourself. (By a moment, I mean a nanosecond or two, tops.) O.K., now, get creative! By creative, I mean be as bat-crazy as possible. Here are some random ideas, so you can get a feel for how this works.
SHOW NO FEAR.
Here's a fun idea: If you're ever being followed, and you think the person is up to no good, you could stop and turn for a moment to yell at a tree, rock, parking meter, fire hydrant, pothole.... You get the idea... "Hey! (Insert name of random object here...)________!" (Point to the object so the potential attacker doesn't think you're starting a fight with them. Make sure you're pointing at about a 90° angle from the person you're trying to confuse/scare/deter. This is how you maintain visual contact with your threat, and creates confusion for your potential attacker.) Once you can get a better (side) visual of the person in question, they'll hesitate and look where you're pointing. (It's human nature.) This is your (short) opportunity to make a proclamation like: "I FOUND HIM!!! THIS IS WHERE THE WIZARD LIVES!" Laugh hysterically. Make it sound evil. Twitching, or adding a physical "tick" to a performance can also make it more convincing. (Remember, these are just ideas. Real life isn't scripted.)
If the last idea didn't work, and certain doom is creeping closer, consider singing an opera song, LOUDLY. Not an opera fan? How about the National Anthem?
Maybe all of these plans have failed, and your demise is inching EVEN CLOSER. Perhaps this net option will be more useful.
Wave your arms wildly around in the air. Act like you're being attacked by killer bees... If you make eye contact with your potential attacker, now would be a good time to start screaming "BEES! OMG, THERE ARE BEES ALL OVER ME! HELP ME! HELP!"
Nobody is going to want to attack someone getting attacked by bees.
Important things to remember when you're in "crazy mode."
Make sure the person you're trying to scare doesn't think you're yelling at them. You don't want to accidentally engage them the wrong way. They HAVE to believe you're crazy and talking to or about something THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND, or you're going to have a bad time.
(No pressure.)
The possibilities are virtually endless. The more theatrical and psychotic, the better. This will throw off your potential attacker. You're no longer predictable. Criminals like their victims to be predictable. It gives them a sense of control. Acting legitimately crazy takes that control away. It will also attract attention from any potential witnesses. If you scream "HELP!" or "GET AWAY FROM ME!" your potential witnesses are more likely to become bystanders and will be less likely to help you.(Bystander effect)
On the flip side: A potential witness will pay more detailed attention to a lunatic yelling at trees and parking meters, while being attacked by killer bees, than they will if someone is just yelling for help. The more ENGAGED attention you have, the less likely you are to become a victim of crime and/or the bystander effect.It's not a pretty truth, but it's still the truth. (If you see someone filming your performance and danger is still imminent, it would be a good time to coherently tell the person with a camera, to call police.) Now that you've created a fair amount of confusion, as well as engaged attention, the potential attacker is more likely to give up.)
Self defense courses teach the importance of self-confidence. Let's make something VERY clear. If you're going to attempt to use the "crazy" method of self defense, you HAVE to be confident. If you don't think you can be a "confident crazy", don't attempt it. You're going to have a bad time.
(Also, it usually won't work very well if your attacker knows you. "Stranger danger" is the best opportunity for the "crazy method.")
If you do happen to know standard, or close combat defense methods, crazy talk can also buy you some time positioning yourself to have the upper hand in case things DO get physical. (Before the attacker even knows what's happening.) Time to get creative again. This ONLY works once you're in close combat range. (You never want to be in combat range, but if you are, here's a tip.) Are you ready? You might not like it, but it's also powerful tool. I recommend acting afraid. LET the attacker think you're weak, but only long enough to gain the upper hand. If they think you're weak and predictable, they're more likely to let their guard down. As soon as they let their guard down, you have the opportunity to make your move. (This is a last resort method to be used with other forms of self defense. You have to be pretty far up sh*t creek if you're considering this.)
If you find yourself in a position where you need to use this advice, please try to remember this... NEVER DIRECTLY VERBALLY THREATEN YOUR POTENTIAL ATTACKER. (For both legal AND psychological reasons.) Your goal is to confuse and distract, not start a fight.
Walking away SAFELY AND NON-VIOLENTLY is the goal of this article. The information is to only be used in DESPERATE circumstances.
Here's why I think "crazy" is an important SKILL to have. Yes, I'm going to call it a skill, because it may require some practice. (You can make practice fun.)
If a random stranger threatens you, don't panic. Try to look at it as an opportunity to shine. To overcome. To challenge the status quo. Don't allow yourself to FEEL like a victim, because you're NOT a victim yet. You've only been threatened. If you're not a victim, there's no reason to victimize yourself (yet). Take CONTROL of the situation while you still have the opportunity. With a little knowledge and creativity, ANYONE can be empowered. (If you've been a victim before, knowledge can prevent it from happening again.)
"Crazy" might not buy you a lot of time, but seconds count. Sometimes a few precious moments are all you need to save a life.
Crazy In Action.A young lady was walking alone in a parking lot one night. A group of men started following a little too closely. The young lady was very scared. Instead of showing fear or anger she got creative. She started barking like a dog. (Yes you read that right.) Then she twitched and uttered a few profanities. (Mimicking Tourette's syndrome to the best of her acting abilities.) After a couple more convincing barks, the group of men were no where to be seen. (This is an example of FIRST RESORT crazy. The situation deescalated before anything bad happened. )
Another example: The story about the student from the University of Florida who scared off a potential rapist by faking an asthma attack.
Perhaps you've heard about this one: In 2007 an 80 year old woman was watching football in her home when a man broke in. She faked a heart attack and successfully scared off the intruder.
Most of these scenarios would take less than 60 seconds to play out in real life. Your defense? Buying yourself some extra time to get somewhere safe, and possibly a few reliable witnesses. (You know, just in case... You know they'd be reliable because how could anyone forget a performance like THAT?)
What if your attacker is CLEARLY crazy?
If you're asking this question, I have to assume running away was never an option... Too bad... REAL insanity is unpredictable. I wish you the best of luck in this (statistically rare) situation. In the meantime, try to keep calm. See if you can get into THEIR head a little bit. Then, adapt your "crazy" performance to (hopefully) play into their reality. Make them feel like you're their new friend...
All you have to do is buy yourself enough time to escape.
My point? If you're up sh*t creek, and no one is around to help, acting crazy can save lives.
(I hope no one EVER needs this kind of advice, but if you do, use this information with extreme discretion, at your own risk.)
Have YOU ever acted crazy to get out of a scary/uncomfortable situation? We would love to hear your story.
